Sober Queue Journey Day 34

Day 34

This past weekend, I was totally lazy, I didn't do anything.  Just listened to books and watched movies.

At first I really got into documentories about  serial killers.  After a while, this got kind of depressing.  I switched to a wonderful book called the "The Man on the Mountaintop".

Sober Queue Journey Day 33

Day 33 and I am not hungover!  I am a little under the weather, but in the past that would mean, I was hungover and under the weather.  So down to one ailment from two is an accomplishment.

I have just taken it easy this past weekend.  Just watching shows and reading books and of course, a nice long bubble bath.

I am a bit concerned because I find myself,  staying in the old drinking behavior of not going anywhere or doing anything unless I have to, as in work.  I don't know if it is because I am feeling a bit under the weather or because I am lazy.

I have been replacing the vodka with sugar a lot.  This past weekend, I ate 3 containers of icing, 1 box of cheeze-its, triscuit crackers with cheese, and noodles and tomato sauce with lots of margarine.

The weird thing is I am not gaining weight.  I still weigh 224 pounds. OMG, a revelation, I haven't been feeling well because I have been poisoning myself with junk!  I think tomorrow, I will start juicing again and my diet program (optivia).

I can't believe I didn't realize that before, my sinus have been bleeding, my head hurts, wow, I have replaced one poison with another.

I think I will work on that for the rest of the day.

Thank you Blog!

Sober Queue Journey Day 30

Yooo hoo day 30!  I'm sure I just spelled that incorrectly.  Today I am celebrating by listening to some of the music I grew up with.  After watching Gaurdians of the Galaxy (about 10 times, both 1 & 2) I am hooked on the music from my past.  It makes me feel good!  I totally with I could find some more movies that link to the 70's and 80's.  Maybe I'll look now!

Sober Queue Journey Day 29

Wow, I can hardly believe it, I'm at day 29 with only 1 slip up that I paid for by feeling sick for 3 days. That seems like so long ago now.

I need to note that I am not having the cravings I was at the beginning.  I hope and pray that continues to be the same.  If I ever do feel like I'm craving alcohol, I will load up one of my fantastic books I have read.  The Sober Revolution is fantastic! Also, Clare Pooley's book, Sober Diaries.

I had a pretty interesting morning.  I have misplaced my keys and have been borrowing my husband's key.  Well he was up this morning and I guess for a type of punishment, he made me take the gray factory key.  Well I stopped at the grocery for a few things for today and when I went back out to the car, I found out the grey key doesn't unlock the car.  Not at all.  I was early for work so I called my husband and thank God he picked up the phone, cuz it was the store's phone line, my cell was locked in the car.  I explained the situation and told him I was stranded at the store.  He had to leave the house and bring me a regular key.  Of course when he was there, he had to try the grey key and it didn't unlock the car.  I was able to get to school before my first class.  I'm not mad, I think it's kind of funny how he was punishing me but in the long run, it was him that had to go out of his way, lol.

Oh, and the best part, I was shaken up and totally forgot my password today, so I had to have tech reset it, but they didn't call me back until after my first class.  I had wonderful help today, so it wasn't too bad.

I am off to a great day!

Sober Queue Journey Day 22

I have almost made it 21 days sober just two more days.  I feel pretty good, still a little tired in the evenings after work.  Here is the amazing news.  I haven't weighed myself for 3 weeks afraid that since I have been eating more, I would have surpassed my previous weight of 140. No, instead, I am down 16 pounds!  At 124 pounds, I find this is amazing. What a wonderful side effect, losing weight, while not drinking!

I haven't felt this serene in a long time.  I will have 5 days off after tomorrow at 2:30 and I can't wait.  I absolutely love to sleep in with my dogs.  Two more days and I will have broken a habit.

I love "Killing the Drink" and "The Naked Mind"  What wonderful reinforcement.

Sober Que Journey Day 19

Well it is Day 19 of my journey.  I have been sober for 16 days now.

I have been listening to "The Naked Mind" and it is really hitting home.  I am also reading "Kick the Drink Easily" by Jason Vale.  They are similar, but the way I feel right now is the information that is being conveyed is worth hearing again and again, after all, the tv, radio and internet all promote alcohol over and over again as something wonderful that will do wonderful things for you.  They neglect to mention what alcohol really is, a poison.

I am not craving alcohol today at all.  Actually for the first time since I stopped drinking, I am sick for other reasons than a hangover.  It is kind of refreshing not to feel guilty for feeling bad, lol.

I don't feel guilty at all right now and that is so different than in the recent past.  I love this feeling.  Tomorrow is a very full day for me, I work all day and all evening.  It is a day that in the past has left me craving.  I think I will load up on knowledge today from these books to help me make it through tomorrow.

I just spent the last hour reading and rereading my early posts.  I can see growth.  I can feel a difference.  I am really glad I started blogging.

Sober Queue Journey Day 16

Day 16!  Wow, I am so happy I have made it to day 16.  I feel so good.  No headaches, No guilt, No shame, No stomach trouble, No swollen red face, More time with husband, Quality time with my kids at school, No shaking hands, No worries about driving, wow, I could go on and on.

I have to admit to replacing vodka with food right now.  I am ok with that until Day 21.  Quitting drinking is more important than a few extra pounds on my already large torso.  I have all the materials and knowledge needed to begin my weight loss program again.

Thursday can be a rough day for me, I don't work a lot but when I work two days in a roll I can sometimes feel like I deserve a break.  So today if that happens, my break will be a hot bubble bath when I get home!

Sober Queue Journey Day 15

Day 15!  Wow, I have been doing really good. :)   That said, I have been sober 11 out of 14 days.  I can't wait till day 21.  If it takes 21 days, the time folks say it takes to form a habit.  In this case it will be a good habit.  I feel more alert, more creative and more confident.
I don't feel sleepy, sick, guilty, forgetful, or bad.

Today should be a great day.  So far I am for the most part enjoying my journey.  I just started listening to The sober revolution.  Good information, I had to slow the speed to 85%, the reader goes so fast through the text.

Sober Queue Journey Day 13

Wow, Day 13 am and I feel great!  I have been sober for 10 days out of 13!  I slept so sound last night and when the alarm went off, I got up feeling good.  That hasn't happened for years.  I had a great leisurely morning getting ready.  I have already ran into a few of my students and they have just brightened my day by telling me they are coming to my class today.  They have 5 specials a week, I am just one of those.  I also got a beautiful painting from a student for my wall.  I feel like I'm in heaven and on a natural high!  No drugs or alcohol. :)

I knew this would happen and I'm not sure how to prepare for the fact that I work all day at school and then work the evening until 8:30.  I usually am exhausted.  And, I am in fact exhausted.  I want to stop and pick up a small bottle of vodka and relax when I get home.

These are the reasons I shouldn't:

Losing my hair
Dry skin
Hangover
Poor nights sleep
I will feel let down
Damaging my stomach.

God please help me through tonight.

Thank God, I made it home without stopping for booze.  I MADE IT!

Sober Queue Journey Day 11

This is Day 11!

I am very excited about this.  Out of my 11 day Journey, I have been sober 8 out of 11 days.  I am so proud of myself.

On day 11, after our first day back to school, I felt totally exhausted.  A great day, but my body ached all over and I was tired.  In the past this was a trigger to pick up some vodka to relax me.  But, I found something else I can do.  I can take bubble baths!  I have had a nice spa tub for over 20 years.  I just haven't used much as showers are quicker. I took a two hour bath!  I put in my bath bomb to add some epson salt for my aching muscles and took a cup of tea and my ipad in the bathroom with me.  I luxuriated by soaking in whirling water and watching a movie.  Granted the movie: The Mexican didn't appeal to me much.

I ended up spending a wonderful evening with my husband, now time for bed.

Sober Queue Journey Day 10

Day 10: Today was day 10 of my journey.  I went back to work today at school. Tomorrow the kids come and I can't wait.  A big however though, tonight I am tired and body sore from moving instruments and walking and walking.  Long story short, I did a lot more physical and mental work than I have for a few weeks.  Which has me longing to relax with a drink to unwind.  Old habits sure have a pull.  I'm told it takes 21 days to start of habit, I can't wait till the 21st day.
When I got home, I sat down and caught up with Poldark, ate and now what?  I decided to blog so I may ramble.

My stomach finally started feeling better today and what do I do? Celebrate with Skyline Chili.  So far so good. I long for the feeling of alcohol knocking me out but no more. What's the solution?  I need to find ways of relaxing naturally.

I did have a great productive day and for that I am thankful.

Sober Queue Jouney Day 9

Thank God, I finally have my stomach back.  I have felt so sick over the last two days.  So glad the alcohol is out of my system.  I thank God for lifting that pain and nausea from me.  I know I deserved it, I made my bed and know I have to lay in it.

Today, New Year's day was a fantastic day with my immediate family and Grandma June.

We had our traditional black eyed peas, cooked cabbage with a dime, rice & cornbread.  No one got the dime but hopefully it influenced everyone's dish of cabbage.

I discovered how to make alka-seltzer and had a blast making it today.  I think it really helped me.

Kind of tired today, sure I hope I sleep well since I have to work tomorrow.

Thank you God for your patience with me.